When Matthew, Helen's lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife Sophie (and their two daughters) and move into Helen's flat, she should be over the moon. The only trouble is, she doesn't want him any more. Now she has to figure out how to get rid of him...

PLAN A:

*Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line.

*Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around

*Stop having sex with him

PLAN B:

*Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie

*Give yourself a fake name and identity

*Befriend Sophie Actually begin to really like her.

*Snog Matthew s son (who's the same age as you by the way. You re not a paedophile)

*Befriend Matthew s children. Unsuccessfully

*Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong